Moving On From Him

I guess it's time for an update. Wow, I can't believe it's already "summertime". It never "really" feels like time has pasted that fast. It always feels like that the past year just went by a lil too fast and it's not much different this year except it feels like it went by WAY too fast this year. Last night I had a dream and it related to Ottawa in a way but it was weird cause I got off the bus for some choir thing while everyone else didn't. But the weird thing is these people were heading home and somehow, the place the choir was dropped off was close enough for my dad to come pick me up. Weird dreams, eh? Lately, I've been watching a tvb chinese series called Heart of Greed, I think I've gotten so "obsessed" with it that a lot of what happened in the series has affected me. I won't spoil it for you readers cause it's still screening in Toronto on fairchild tv. But I must mention that the series was filmed very well and all the characters were portrayed amazingly. Moses is amazing at doing his character, haha soo funny! And Linda and Raymond and a lot of others characters. It's a series that you should all definetely watch!

Onto another note, now that grade 11 is officially over, in a few weeks, I'll be a grade 12. I know that I'm definetely not ready yet but I guess I can just "hope for the best" in September. I feel kind of irritated that the "end of the year" seemed so rushed, like I couldn't get quite a few grads to sign my yearbook AND it feels like I still haven't said proper goodbye to them. I guess msn will just have to do! But anyways, I would like to wish all readers who are grads all the best in uni and that you must come visit us because I'm just "that awesome" LOL, kidding. But yknow, the grade 11s are quite awesome ;]. And for the rest of the readers, all the best for you all next year and to the ones that shared memories with me this year, thanks <3.>

Anyways, this is the last batch of poems that was included in my poetry portfolio so enjoy them while they last ;]. I think it's quite coincedental of the order I decided to post some poems because I think choosing to post these 2 last and at this time is perfect because it really really relates to the series I just finished watching, heehee. Anyways, hope you all enjoy and leave a comment ;]

~mushroom-chan;; heart.of.greed.ftw;;

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So the poem below is an ode and it can be quite generalized to someone praising their brother, parents, friends or boyfriend. I don't have a real answer of who this ode was praising in my opinion so just interpet it the way you want. But if you watched the heart of greed... haha nevermind.

Him

I still hear his voice
On dark lonely nights
I still feel his soul
Under the cold covers

I still feel his cozy cuddles
When hugging a teddy bear
I still hear his soft whispers
When the wind breezes by

I still see his strong body
When a storm hits the area
I still feel his warm hands
Under the cold running water

I still hear his name
When the attendance is called
He went by the name Avery
And sometimes just Ave

These memories of him
Can never leave me
He was awesome
Greater than awesome

When I walk down the track
I still feel the sound of his foot
Running hard and making long strides
To become the champion he is

When reading about myths
I am reminded of him
Because he is a god
My god of support

When crossing Rancliff lane
I go back to that rainy day
Where he saved my life
And became my hero

I opened these books
And I see him as Einstein
I look at these photos
And I see him as happiness

I must have been lucky
To have been loved by
Not only a god
But my very own hero

Alissa Tse*

The following poem is an elegy, which is a poem that mourns about someone's death or the dead. Again, interpret it the way you want. But again, if you relate to the Heart of Greed, haha fine i'll just shush about that now.

Moving On

When we were young children
We learned to greet others
“Hello” when we saw them
And “Goodbye” when they left

But these words weren’t just greetings
They were the beginnings and the endings
To people, to tales, and to relationships
To myths, to friendships, and to stories

I didn’t know how to say goodbye
To friends and people I loved
And I didn’t want to say hello
Knowing soon, I’ll have to say goodbye

Sometimes the hellos came with happiness
And goodbyes ended with sorrow
Sometimes the hellos came with hurt
And goodbyes ended with hurt as well

But people keep telling me that
I have to say goodbye to you
Even if letting go of you
Meant sorrow and hurt to me

But I want to ask why…
I have to learn to move on
And to say goodbye
In this tragic way

I don’t know how to face
More days without you
I don’t know how to accept
That you are gone

They say you’ll always be there with me
Because you’re always looking down at me
From the beautiful clouds in the day
And the shining stars at night

They say that even though
You’re not here anymore
Your soul is with me
And you have never left

Then why must I say goodbye
Why do I have to move on?
When you’re still always here
Why must I let go?

If I knew it was going to be so hard
Maybe I should have left with you
Then maybe we could be together
Without having to say goodbye

But I guess once I said hello
I have to say goodbye
Once I have held on
I have to let go

I love you so dearly,
I will never forget you
Even if I must move on
You will be in my heart

It’s time to close the book
Time for this story to end
Time for me to say “goodbye”
Time for me to move on.

Alissa Tse*

~mushroom-chan;; my.heart.leads;;